New Beginnings

Posted on October 9, 2026 by Thistle

I have news. Are y’all ready?

Divorce
In the evening of October 1st, I got a message from my lawyer that the judge had signed the divorce decree, making me officially divorced. The decree was signed Sept 30th, which meant that September officially ended my old life, and October 1st began my new one. There is still paperwork to go, but the divorce itself is no longer mired in red tape and sitting in a weird Schrödinger-esque yes-but-no space. Hurrah!

The day after I got the message, I celebrated. It was a nice day – a tarot spread to start me on my new life. A lunch out at an Italian restaurant, where I ordered in German! A bit of Halloween shopping and decorating, as well as a trip to the shops for some celebratory treats and wine. Then I made chocolate chip cookies and watched the week’s episode of Bake Off (biscuit week, good timing!) while eating said cookies with Rainstorm.

School
The first day of my intensive German course was on Monday. I’d spoken to the school the previous Friday when the class schedule came out because I wasn’t sure which level I was supposed to be in. I signed up for the very beginning level (A1.1) but since I’ve spent a year studying German immersion-style through Rosetta Stone, I suspected I might need to begin in A1.2. I took a placement test on the website for A1.1 and scored 80%, and the school told me that yeah, I probably need to be in A1.2, and that there would be another placement test on the first day of class. (There was. I took it and ended up solidly in the middle of the A1.2 range.)

So now that I’ve been there for my first full week, here are my impressions:

Commute: I get up far earlier than I like since I have a 1.5-hour commute. I don’t live in the same city as my school, so I have to walk to the train station (20 mins), catch a train (when there are frequent delays in the German train system), then spend 30-45 mins on the train (depending on if it’s the express or regional) to get to the main station in Cologne. Once at the main train station, it’s almost no time at all to pop into the subway, get on one of two lines that leave every few minutes, and take two stops to my school. But it all adds up. I leave the house by 7:15 or so, and usually arrive 20-30 mins before class begins (during which time, I eat breakfast). The commute back takes just as long, and I usually get home around 1:15 to 1:30. It’s six hours total of commuting and class, and class is only half of that.

Classroom: There are about ten students in my class from a wide range of locations: Iran, Thailand, Singapore, Turkey, France, Kenya, Brazil, and the Philippines, then of course me, the lone American. In general, most of the students are quite friendly. Most are in their 20s and 30s, with only one that I know of also in their 40s like me. Many of them seem to know each other, probably because they would have been in the last A1.1 class together.

Instruction: It’s quite strange to find myself in a classroom again, especially with folks who treat this like they can memorize enough to pass a test, rather than actually trying to learn a language. Not all of them are like this, but enough that I find it really amusing. It’s hilarious when the teacher is trying to get them to branch out from the textbook and they don’t seem to realize it. For example, we did an exercise where we had to ask our “neighbor” (table partner) questions and write down their answers. Then the teacher would ask each of us what our neighbor said about XYZ. Only she would ask by name – like, “What time does Thistle eat dinner?” Of course, the response ought to be something like “Thistle eats dinner at 7:00,” but the response from most of the students would be “my neighbor eats dinner at …” because that’s what they’d written down.

On the other hand, when partnered up, it’s easier to try to get an organic conversation going, even if it’s difficult to converse with a limited vocabulary on both sides, plus everyone having different accents and different ways of pronouncing the German, and all of us making mistakes along the way. The teacher is great at floating around the room and pointing out corrections without making anyone feel silly or stupid. Also, she had no problem with calling me by my chosen name, and said she would use they/them pronouns for me in English (even though this isn’t an option in German – I said “she” was fine, it’s the same word as “they” in German anyway).

Given that I’m coming into this class from a different angle, having spent a year with immersion lessons rather than taught-partially-in-English lessons, I find myself really far ahead in some ways, but really far behind in others. An immersion program struggles to teach certain types of grammar, like how subject articles change in different cases (accusative, dative, etc). That’s a thing that’s much more easily taught in a classroom environment. There’s also certain colloquial phrases and classroom verbiage that I’m unfamiliar with. However, because I’m ahead with other things (I’ve learned far more verb tenses, for instance), I’m able to focus on the things I don’t know instead of trying to catch up in everything. It makes me feel like I’m in the right place – not in the next class up, where I would struggle to understand, and not in the class just below, where I’d feel like I was wasting my time.

Timeline: I’ve booked and paid for a year’s worth of classes. There are ten levels (A1.1 through C1.2), plus a preparatory course for the C1 exam, and I’m starting at the second level. If I manage to do one level per month without repeating any – which I think is overly ambitious – I’d have three months of prep course. That also means I have three months of repeat courses if I want to get through the end of C1.2. If I want to remain in German on a different visa after the year, I need to get to at least a B2 level of language. Goal is to reach that one by May/June. Hopefully that gives me enough time for the application process.

Anyway, that’s all about my double new beginning! I’m probably going to be around the blog less often given that I now spend roughly six hours a day either at school or commuting, plus there will be homework and all the rest. So if y’all see me disappear for a bit, that’s why. It’s a good disappearance, at least!

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The Velvet Knife by Maureen Johnson (audio)

Posted on October 6, 2026 by Thistle

Follow-up to Nine Liars, and the sixth book in a loose series.

I’ve been looking forward to this one for almost four years now. Nine Liars ended on a major cliffhanger. Tbh, by the time this one released, I’d mostly forgotten the previous book. I remembered the original trilogy well, and then the bridge book pretty well, but the new series didn’t really stick in my head. Because of that, I mostly went into this blind, just knowing that the characters would be familiar.

Two unpleasant surprises met me when I started this audiobook. First, the narrator had changed, when it had been consistent for the last five books. That’s not necessarily bad, just unexpected and threw me off. Second, the prologue began with a character on some sort of hallucinogenic mushroom. I really don’t like books about drugs or books that take me into the mental headspace of characters while on drugs. If this wasn’t part of a series I’d already invested a lot of time into, I would have immediately stopped reading. And honestly, I wish I had.

The story was split between two narratives: a murder mystery from the 70s involving a commune/cult, and the present day, where narrator Stevie is trying to figure out life again after her boyfriend dumped her and she found him kissing some random girl. The murder mystery was fine – again, except that I could have done without all the drug use – but the present day story just drove me insane. Stevie pines and pines and pines for this asshole who is the worst kind of person, while her best friends are telling her to let the ass go and not give him another chance if he comes crawling back.

The rest of this review will contain spoilers, so click away now if you don’t want to know.

As much as I disliked Stevie’s whining, once David did show up again and beg forgiveness, I appreciated that she considered, interrogated him, and then chose to not take him back. She decided to go her own way. That was great. And then we get to the last chapter, where out of the blue, she goes to town, meets up with him, tells him that she’s giving up her life’s dream (supposedly because it’s no longer her dream, but she also asks him if that makes her less intimidating, which is why he broke up with her in the first place), and then they kiss and make up and are back together again. The entire last chapter felt completely unrelated to the rest of the story, like Johnson was telling a story about standing up for yourself, and instead was told by the publisher that she needed to make sure the romance ended well, so she tacked this post-script on. It was especially ironic that Stevie goes back to the asshole in a story that centered on a man who was brainwashing younger women to follow him.

I wanted to throw the book across the room. Only I was listening to an audiobook, so I wasn’t going to throw my phone across the room. I’m sure there will be plenty of readers who find the ending romantic, and maybe this is just because I’m old and have done a lot of work in de-centering men, but this story was just a big fat nope.

Performance: The audiobook was read by Emily Ellet. I could not tell you anything about the quality of her performance because all of these characters already had voices for me from the previous narrator, and I think it would be very unfair to make a comparison.

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September 2026 in Review

Posted on October 2, 2026 by Thistle

Busy, busy, busy. That basically sums up this month.

  • Tarot of the month (full year, month by month, drawn Dec 2025): The Six of Cups. It’s a card of nostalgia. I’m honestly not sure how to interpret this for September. I didn’t find myself particularly nostalgic or homesick or looking back at all. The month has actually been far more focused on forward movement. Maybe I’ll understand with some distance. // This version of The Six of Cups comes from the Fenestra Tarot (no affiliate link).
  • Song(s) of the month: Eternity (Alex Warren)

General Life Stuff
Well, as I just stated, there’s been a lot of forward movement this month. I got my visa, and several more steps have passed in the divorce process. Weird thing, though: I’m not officially divorced until the judge signs the papers, but once they sign, I’ll be officially divorced as of August 10th. And even though I’m not officially divorced, my ex has officially remarried already. And then we both had to sign closing paperwork for selling the house, because the divorce wasn’t official, so it was him and his two spouses by law, ish? Really, this is too soap opera for me. The judge has had the paperwork to sign since August 28th, so I really, really hope this finalizes soon!

Otherwise, life goes on here. I found a primary care physician in town who’s only about a mile away and who speaks English, so I have prescription continuity of care and already have my next few months of meds. A week later, I had my first proper illness in Germany, and discovered just how different meds are here vs the US. I’m just glad I got it over with before school starts!! I now have word that my boxes are supposed to enter Europe soon, and hopefully I’ll have them to me within a month. That’s a lot longer than the “two month” estimate they gave me, but at least they’re almost here. Hopefully they’ll arrive some time in October! And I’ve done a test run to the language school that starts next week, so I know how to get there and how early I have to get up to make the train commute. It’s been a busy month, but relatively good (and definitely forward-moving).

Goals
Getting the visa finalized was the end of one goal, and other than that, not much is happening. Honestly, very little more is going to happen with goals this year. The big ones were to move to Europe, get my visa, get into school, and attend TIC7. Those are all done now. All the little ones were things to focus on if and only if the big ones couldn’t happen.

Writing
So the nice thing is: After TIC last month, I feel really invigorated and I’ve wanted to write again. I’ve got a short story going, have written a few one-shots, and have a longer fic set to outline. It’s the first time I’ve felt excited for a longer story in awhile, so hopefully this feeling lasts!

Favorite Photos

Exciting stuff
Most of this is just repeating the above: Visa approval, writing fun, divorce progress. The house sold this month, so I finally got the direct monetary portion of my divorce settlement. Still waiting on the various retirement plans to roll through. And the divorce itself to be finalized. Seriously, one day it’s going to happen… Outside that, though, I had my first proper outing in Germany this month, to Melaten Cemetery, where I took my nice camera and my Lensbaby Velvet 56 lens to take really cool atmospheric photos of old statues. It was a really lovely day generally – a few hours outside in a perfectly crisp 6 degree morning (about 43 for the Fahrenheit people) with gorgeous lighting as I walked around the graveyard taking hundreds of photos, then savoury crepes (ham, cheese, and white asparagus) and kölsch beer for lunch, then a stop at a queer craft-and-stationary shop before heading home. I probably ought to have written a proper post about it (not to mention all those posts about London last month that I still haven’t started…), but I got sick the very next day, so it’s unlikely to happen. WAY too much else going on in my life right now, especially with school about to start!

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Fanfic Minis – September 2026

Posted on October 1, 2026 by Thistle

I have a feeling there’s going to be a cascade of fics in October. There are a few Bangs happening right now and I’m reading like fifteen stories that are posting once per week… Anyway, here’s the much shorter list that I actually finished in September. It’s shorter because I’m reading almost exclusively WIPs right now and only two of those finished this month.

First: Charting a Course by Sakascal. This sweet story of a growing friendship on a cruise is so, so, so good. Two people with traumatic pasts, both trying to heal, both starting realize that what they experienced before is not a predictor of the future.

Second: On Passage by Appleseeds. A holiday romance set in the late 90s. Aziraphale’s suitcase is lost on the way to the south of France, so he has to work closely with the booking agent until it’s found. Obviously, the booking agent is Crowley – a flirtatious, coupon-wielding menace.

Third: Sir, This is a Tesco by whatkeepsusalive. Meet-cute in the jam aisle of a Tesco near midnight. Very silly, very funny. Second half got a little repetitive for me but it was cute. Very domestic fluff and sweetness vibes.

Fourth: In Due Course by mageofthepeople and dinah_w. Cute little restaurant AU, coworkers to lovers. Fun story. Great art.

Fifth: With Bated Breath by Miel Petite. This one falls into a weird space for my blog. In the past, I haven’t really thought about long comics that I read through Patreon as completed books/fics, but I suppose they are. I suppose I ought to count them here. After all, they’re just visual stories like any other graphic novel. This one, though, had a print run and I bought it at TIC7, so I have the physical book with physical pages. It’s still a fan comic, one that can be read on the artist’s Patreon, but as they’re probably my very fave artist in the fandom, I’m happy to have a physical copy. It’s not a tradpubbed book, though, so it doesn’t really fit regular review space any more than it fits this fanfic mini-review space. Anyway, for now, I’m including this here and not worrying about other visual fics I might have finished on Patreon. My thoughts: Well I already mentioned that this is one of my fave artists in the fandom, if not my very fave. I’ve bought way too much at Miel’s booth at TIC both the last two years, and do not regret it at all. This fic came out before I found their Patreon, so I got to read it in full the first time. And it’s delicious. Every page exquisitely drawn. I’m beyond impressed and I know I’ll read this over and over again.

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Mini-reviews: two audiobooks by KJ Charles

Posted on September 30, 2026 by Thistle

A couple weeks back, I was bored and looking for more audiobooks to listen to. I found two KJ Charles books that had short hold lines, and put them both on hold at the library, only for them both to become available within a few days. I dove into them back to back, and because I hadn’t had the chance to review the first before I finished the second, I’m just gonna combine the two here.

The Secret Lives of Country Gentlemen (read by Martyn Swain)
I adored this story. It’s one I wish I’d bought instead of borrowed. It starts with a week of anonymous hookups between two men, then a bad separation that makes things worse when the two meet under very different circumstances. It’s a story about rejection (not just of a partner, but of a parent, a family, a culture); family and found-family; loyalty and when loyalty causes problems; patriotism and law vs taking care of your own people; and the way ancestry can pass down sins on the innocent who come later. It’s extremely well-written, with a lot of detail on dialect and region-specific language, and ranks up with my second-favorite Charles book (after the William Darling series), Copper Script. And I just discovered that there is a second book in the series, so I’m looking forward to reading that soon!

Death in the Spires (read by Tom Lawrence)
This was a totally different vibe for KJ Charles. The narrator was one of seven friends who were inseparable at Oxford – until one of them is murdered and the rest of them scatter. The murder was never solved, but each of them is still getting harassed and accused of the crime. Ten years on, Jem (the narrator) has had enough. He sets off to get answers, but the dangers he digs up are not exactly what he anticipated. So – very different vibe. I’ve read plenty of mysteries from Charles, but this one was a bit more formula-based, with a bit of extra wrap-up to make it less messy, and completely SFW. There are themes of queerness and homophobia, racism, abortion rights, classism, and ableism. I enjoyed it, but it didn’t really land with me as well as some of Charles’ books.

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The Luis Ortega Survival Club, by Sonido Reyes (audio)

Posted on September 21, 2026 by Thistle

TW: Rape.

I’m sorry that I can’t really describe this book without a TW. It centers on Ari, an autistic girl with selective mutism who is raped at a party just before the book starts. Because she didn’t – couldn’t – say no, she thinks this is somehow her own fault, especially as she liked the boy and the attention he gave her. But as her fellow students start to hear about her “sluttiness” and rumors about her grow wild at school, Ari finds herself even more isolated – until a mysterious profile on social media reaches out to her to join a group dubbed the Luis Ortega Survival Club.

There are so many things in this story. The sexual assault, obviously – both Ari’s rape and the other types of assault perpetrated by several characters both on page and in the past. Ari’s autism and selective mutism. The strained relationship between her parents, and of her with her parents. Her growing friendship with a group of four others, and her growing feelings for one of them in particular, a girl named Shawni who is one of Luis’ exes. It’s a story about expressing oneself, and facing fears even though your way of facing them may not look like another person’s way, and learning to accept yourself for who you are. It’s about facing what happened to you, and naming it for what it is, and bringing injustice to light. It’s a hopeful story, but also a very tough story to read.

This is my third read by the author and probably my favorite of them so far. It’s such a well-written book. If you can stomach the various TWs, I highly recommend it.

Performance: The audiobook was read by Elisa Meléndez. Good read, no complaints.

Note: The book cover says Sonora Reyes, rather than reflecting the author’s current name, Sonido Reyes. I couldn’t find an updated cover to use here. Despite this, I will refer to the author by their chosen name.

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The Alchemist of All Hallows Eve, by Gigi Pandian (audio)

Posted on September 17, 2026 by Thistle

I think this is like the tenth book in the series? Plus a few novellas that have come out along the way? What else can I say about it, given that I’ve reviewed so many?? This installment was excellent. Great mystery and plotting and pacing, plus there were so many lovely tidbits about ancient Samhain rituals! I ended up going down a rabbit hole on wikipedia looking at mangelwurzel. Heh.

The book was read, as always, by Julia Motyka. I adore her narration and I’m happy she continues to narrate these!

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Killing Me, by Michelle Gagnon (audio)

Posted on September 14, 2026 by Thistle

A former grifter on the run, a drug-addict prostitute, the true-crime-obsessed owner of a sleazy Las Vegal motel, and an antisocial computer genius team up to hunt down a serial killer.

Sounds like the start of a joke, right? Well, there is humor all throughout this book, but it’s definitely an edge-of-your-seat thriller with some scenes that were on the border of what I could handle, violence-wise. Never crossed over into too much, though, and I thought the topics of the story (the psychology, sexuality, prostitution, addiction, poverty, crime, gambling, alcoholism, the way the US treats immigrants, etc) were handled very well. It’s not a heavy-handed book, despite the Big Topics – instead, they are all integrated into the background and setting of the story.

There were a few things that I didn’t particularly like. In the last 25% or so, there started being “interludes” told from other points of view than the narrator’s. I wouldn’t have minded this at all if it were there from the beginning. Having these only at the end made it feel like the story couldn’t be told the same way as the majority of the story. There was also a misdirect at one point that felt lazy for the storytelling. But both of those complaints were relatively minor. I was expecting there to be some weird twist at the end that would ruin the book for me (too often something that happens in thrillers for me) but the story flowed and ended naturally.

Best part of this book, though, was the fact that the narrator is a lesbian and it has nothing to do with the premise of the story. Her being a lesbian has no bearing on the substance of the plot, it’s just a fact about her. Her sexuality is treated as indifferently as a straight narrator’s, with mentions of past relationships and current flings and personal attraction etc. It’s treated as normal. We need more books like this – books where sexuality isn’t the epicenter of a story, but part of its fabric. I loved that.

Performance: The audiobook was read by Jaime Lamchick, who managed to use quite a number of southern accents in a way that didn’t make me cringe at all. Perhaps because they weren’t as exaggerated as so many narrators try to make them. These felt exactly like they belonged to the people in the story. Great job.

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A Trade of Blood, by Robert Jackson Bennett (audio)

Posted on September 10, 2026 by Thistle

This is the third book of the Ana and Din mystery series. I can’t say much about the story given that there are previous volumes. Let’s just say that the investigation in this one focuses on a family feud and fungi-induced zombies.

Years ago, I attended a library event where Robert Jackson Bennett was hanging out and signing books. When my friend and I were there, we were the only ones at his booth, leaving us time to chat. (It was a small event, so this isn’t a reflection on the author – most of the actual event stuff was happening on a different floor, so the author’s area was woefully under-attended.) I’d already read the Divine Cities trilogy before then, and his Founders series was soon to release. He told me a bit about the way he likes dressing books up as one genre while it’s actually another in reality. While I don’t know what he calls this series in particular, I view it as a fantasy series dressed up as a mystery. And this genre-bending really tickles me.

I’ve loved this series since the first book, and had the third volume pre-ordered. I didn’t have time to listen prior to my trip to London, so I put it on the back burner. Then my library hold of The Unknown popped up, so I pushed off my read even further. I dove in immediately after I finished Sager’s book, and it was like slipping into a comforting warm bath. It didn’t take any time at all to fall into the rhythm of the story, which I think I liked even more than the first two volumes.

Honestly, I never know how to review later volumes of a series, so I’m going to leave this one here. It was really good. Phenomenal. Definitely recommended (the whole series).

Performance: The audiobook was read by Andrew Fallaize. I adore his narration. One of my favorites ever.

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Unknown, by Riley Sager (audio)

Posted on September 7, 2026 by Thistle

Marin has landed the role of a lifetime. But before filming begins, she must spend a week on an island once known for the mysterious disappearance of five women. She, along with her fellow actresses, must live like those women, to get into character, because their story is the one that will be told. And living like those folks from a hundred years ago is not easy: no phones, no electricity, no access to the mainland… and now, new disappearances.

This is a mix of thriller, historical mystery, commentary of the #metoo variety (mind the TWs), and horror that skirts the line between psychological and paranormal. And it was good! Riley Sager is hit-or-miss for me, and I’m happy to say this is one of his better ones. I flew through the audiobook, never wanting to stop. The viewpoints flipping between Marin (present) and Daisy’s diary (past) really helped develop the story.

And of course, I’m a sucker for anything involving Ouija and potentially-paranormal things! Only if they’re done right, and I loved the way they were handled here.

Performance: This audiobook was read by three people – Maggie Grace, Patricia Santomasso, and Erin Lin. All three did a great job. No complaints.

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